


Burn It All Away

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: Burning, F/M, Reader-Insert, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 18:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11514594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Burn It All Away

There had to be something you could do - some kind of a release that would allow you to focus on something other than the mess of thoughts running around it your head. You were at risk of losing your job. Spencer said he needed to “talk” to you. Your parents were in the middle of a nasty divorce that had your siblings taking sides and all you wanted to do was sink into oblivion and have everyone fuck off. 

When you were younger, there had been classes and seminars on self harm, warning you that taking pills or cutting your wrists wasn’t the way to deal with your emotions; that had never been your way. Over the years, you learned that your method of coping with the world could be just as deadly, but you didn’t do it all that often, so you told yourself it was okay; it wasn’t.

With you parents marriage imploding and the uncertainties of your own relationship and job, you needed to do something to feel anything other than what you were feeling, so you went into the bathroom and started running the bath water. 

As the water splashed into the bottom of the tub, slowly crawling up the sides bit by bit, you disrobed and watched as the steam took over the mirror and windows. Once the tub was full, you dipped your foot into the water and hissed at the blistering heat. You felt the slight urge to pull your foot out, but that was your body’s natural reaction; your mind said sink deeper, so instead of backing out, you lifted your other foot into the tub, stood there for 20 or so seconds and sank your entire body into the overly-heated water. “Fuck,” you hissed, allowing the water to slide its way all the up to your neck. It hurt, but it was a hurt you wanted and needed right now.

You swallowed hard and closed your eyes, dipping your head below the nervous momentarily, wanting to be completely overwhelmed by the sensation. Once your arose, you opened your eyes and stared at your skin, waiting for it to blush underneath the extreme heat. After only ten minutes, you felt the heat start to leave the water, so you removed yourself from the tub to fill it back up again, returning to it once full with another satisfied hiss. 

Through all of that, you’d done exactly what you wanted - forgotten about everything else that was going on in your mind and only on the pain that was steadily coursing through your body. You hadn’t even heard Spencer enter your apartment, no less the bathroom, until you heard him exclaim. “Y/N! Your skin!” When you lazily opened your eyes, you willed him to leave you there, let the heat wear off one more time, but he hastily pushed up his sleeves and dipped his hands into the water to lift you out. “Baby what are you doing? What happened?”

“Needed to think about something else,” you said, feeling yourself nearly limp in his arms. He placed you on the bed in a towel and insisted you sit up, shoving a glass of water in your face before running to dampen some more towels with cool water. 

When he returned, he covered your body in damp, cool towels. You winced at the pain, but you had done this to yourself. “Y/N, what happened? Did you do this on purpose?”

You nodded as a tear came to your eye. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to think about something else other than the clusterfuck that is my life,” you said flatly. “I’m about to lose my job. My parents are yelling at each other and bringing my brothers and sisters down with them and…and I just wanted to feel something else. I do it from time to time.”

Spencer’s eyes brimmed with tears as he looked at your skin. The burns were superficial, slightly red and tender to the touch, but nothing that needed medical attention. “You need to get help for this,” he said softly. “Do you know what you could’ve done in there? You could’ve gotten heat stroke, Y/N.”

“I’m always careful,” you said, knowing that that wasn’t enough. “My aim has never been to seriously hurt myself, just enough…”

“Please,” he breathed. “Let me help you. You need to talk to someone.”

“I know,” you cried, leaning into his outstretched arm. “Can you cool the towels off again?”

With a small comforting smile, he left you to cool the towels off, which helped your tender skin. “Have another glass of water,” he said, grabbing a pair of pajama pants and climbing into bed with you. “Need to make sure you don’t get dehydrated.”

“I don’t know how to stop, Spence,” you said softly, not turning to meet his gaze. “It’s just something I do.”

“I know,” he said. He gathered his arm around you and pulled you into his body, your still heated skin pressing against his own. “It’s not going to change over night. It’s going to take time. But you can do this.”


End file.
